pernah mendengar "so much expectation will ended up will too much disappointment" ? pasti. ketika kita banyak berharapm terutama pada seseorang, terkadang apa yang kita harapkan tidak seperti apa yang kita inginkan. itu karena manusia tercipta dengan gaya berpikirnya masing-masing. bahkan bayi yang lahir dalam satu rahim dan keluar dari lubang yang sama pun mempunyai jalan pikir yang berbeda.
ketika berharap seseorang menjadi apa yang kita inginkan, rasanya seperti merubah diri kita sendiri. perubahan bukan tidak mungkin, tetapi butuh proses. dan hal itu yang harus dipahami oleh sebagian orang.

perubahan pun datang tidak dengan begitu saja, selain dari kemauan juga adanya lingkungan yang mendukung. bagaimana bisa seseorang tidak menjadi pecandu narkoba lagi, ketika mendapati teman-temannya masih menjadi pecandu, one in a million.

we sometimes see the things that our eyes wanna see, kita ga mau menerima, kalau memang masih banyak hal yang sangat berbeda di luar pandangan kita, dunia ini saking luasnya, sampai tidak bisa dibayangkan bahwa ada keberadaan mahluk yang tidak bisa kita bayangkan bahwa yang seperti itu ada. kadang kita terjerat hanya dalam sebuah kotak yang mengurung kita kedalam sebuah skat pikiran yang tidak membiarkan kita berimajinasi bahwa banyak hal yang menyenangkan dari melihat sebuah burung yang berenang mengarungi angkasa dengan bebasnya, sampai akhirnya kita hanya bisa menunggu waktu untuk merasa iri kepada burung-burung itu dan mati,

selalu dalam diri kita hanya menginginkan sesuatu hal yang kita bayangkan, karena kita sudah siap untuk menghadapinya. kita sudah membayangkannya. mengharapkan seseorang berubah itu sama saja memasukan benang kedalam jarum di bawah temaram sinar bulan sambil memejamkan mata, sulit, bukan tidak bisa, namun sangat sulit.

berarti bukannya tidak mungkin, tetapi, kembali kepada ita, apakah kita sudah menjadi apa yang diinginkan orang itu, dalam arti, apakah kita sudah cukup sempurna? pelajari diri kita melalui orang lain.



regards,


rd.

:)

WHADDUP, YO!

well, it's been ages not to write down my stories here. my life was going superB! 

time flies.. okay, in a hectic May i was like had so many stories to tell. the things that i was fight for since about 3 months is (not) paid off. i lost in IFDC the university debating championship. that's a big shyt. well, okay, i should admit it, but, i'm not bad at all, i tell you. 

so now, as the debate practice end up i go back to my daily activity = HIBERNATION!

what to do in this small town beside sleep, eh?  i have fabulous life, and feel like my life was so damn beauty more and more.

my best friend was moved on the beginning of this month, right beside my room, it is such a blessed! and i have my perfect friend, i called him my mate, he always there for me. and he really pure. eh okay, he is not fake.. not like everybody else i knew before.

having a friends is trully bless. i'm not a girl that really easy to get click with other people type of person, so i just have a bunch of close friends, man, it's about quality not a quantity right?

well, i think, i gotta go! editing some text and will do the ASSignments! 

and wish me luck for the presenter competition this weekend!

xoxo

lately i have been busying my self with debate practice. i enjoy this moment. and the important things is i love my new activity! the coach, the  debate partner they are so lovely and crazy ass! they share about everything. i learnt so much from debate.

debate, as i catch about the point that how to make people believe about what we said whether it's true or not. to act and pretending that we are in the right side, how to break the mental of our opposite team and make people feel so ashamed. okay to be honest i'm one of person who has a confident crisis. maybe when you see me first you will see that i'm a shy or maybe sweet person hehe. but i actually not. haha. even gue duduk selalu ngangkang. but how they know whether i'm a woman or not if i'm not ngangkang hahahahhahahah. okay. as u saw me day by day you absolutely won't think that i'm sweet and shy anymore. you see me as the person which is have a big confident, but in fact i have a big problem, i'm full with a doubt type of person. and thats causing i seldom not to finished my stuffs because i feel so afraid of making a movement, i'm afraid of take a risk. i was absence on debate 3 days, as long as i absence i always thinking about the positive and negative side that i will get or will not get if i still join this debate team. 

my friend was gave me advices thru chat, he told me i can do it, and i to be honest i don't know i can or can not do this thing, but at least i will try and fight with it. i will change the old me. 

thanks to all my friends who always support, esp. my lovely debaters friends. i love you. i lick you. i kiss you!

love.

february's story

okay, there we go. wanna hear my story? i bet you want. i’m sorry first, because my story will be not as surprising like its sounds hehe. actually i just dont need to be typing this story over again, i mean you know, just read my old post and you will know what i mean. hehe. suck ey?

his birthday was in 21th february. and thank god im in holiday. but actually i shall back to my university for some stuffs, but i dont care. 

u must be wondering what the hell i will do with him if im here? the answer is. nothing. but i do respect him, you know i feel happy and much better when im at least in the same city with him, yea i didnt met him, and wasnt planned to be but ti be honest there was a lil in my head that suggest me to meet him, but finally we were not met each other at all. 

i decided to bought him a cheese cake, a strawberry cheese cake, hope you like it ya. and i gave it to his friend, i dont have no bravery at all to meet him, you know, i will crying hard or maybe i’ll die haha no. 

and his friend named avin just bbm me send his photo with that cake, i was like flyin like a g6 lol no i was like im so happy. and i dont know whether he will throw up to the trash bin or eat that with all his heart or eat and he felt like, “its just a cake, nothing special” i dont care. I DO NOT CARE.

he is not changed, except the way he dress and his body, he’s montok. haha btw thats not the point.